I'ma I'ma Be Alright

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I've been having to fight a funky depression now and then the last couple of weeks, which tells me I'm not keeping my focus on the Lord, but rather my circumstances. It seems it starts whenever I've had doctor appointments. Next week I'll have doctor appointments every day except Monday and then on for the next three to four weeks, So, I need to snap out of. Well...today, I did.

The last couple of days I have focused my mind on God's good promises and it always, always does the trick for me. It gets me back to where I need to be. This morning I woke up in a great mood because I won't have to see a doctor for four days and that's four days of just plain old boring normal life. The sun was shining, which hasn't been doing much here lately, so that was a plus and we had a beautiful breeze coming in from Hurricane Matthew along with temperatures in the low seventies. So, who wants to be in a funk on a day like that?

I made a shopping list for things I needed at a few different stores and headed out with my list. Of course, shopping always puts a girl in a good mood. So, that was fun.

Looking back at my week, it started out gloomy, but very busy - too busy. But, as I look at my calendar now, it really was a good week. Monday I had my beloved Body & Soul exercise class, followed by Tuesday with the dreaded visit to the radiologist's office where I had to get a CT scan. I had never had one before and I was so nervous. Since this whole thing has started, I have had way too many new medical experiences and some of them have not been very nice. So, when anything new comes up, I get a little anxious. But, it was nothing but a piece of cake. It was quick and easy and I really need to stop being anxious because the worst is behind me. I know this in my head, but then there's this other part of my head that has it's doubts and causes me worry.

Tuesday night I went to church and connected with a mentor there. Our church matches women with other women for mentoring and I usually am a mentor, but this time I signed up to be mentored since I do so much mentoring. (Wow! I've overused the word "mentor"!) Anyway, it turns out that my mentor lives right here in my neighborhood, which is a plus for me because if I do get the side effect of fatigue from the radiation, she's like right down the street from me and meeting with her shouldn't be a problem. So, that meeting was fun because not only did I get to meet someone new, but dinner was involved. And our church dinners are prepared by a professional and his food is always divine.

Wednesday afternoon I ended up back at church to meet with a lady that will sign me up with a Stephen's Minister. If you're not familiar with this ministry, it is a group of lay people who have gone through extensive training for nine months who just listen confidentially. I was going to join a cancer support group, but then found out that the Stephen's Ministry has that one on one person for cancer support and I liked the one on one idea versus the whole group thing. Plus, we can meet when it is convenient instead of times already set up. That way, if I'm not feeling quite up to it, it can be re-arranged. So, I look forward to meeting with this lady, as well. It's a good program.

Thursday, it was back to the lab for a bone density scan. Again, something I have never had before. My oncologist wants a baseline because sometimes the radiation can cause bone issues. She had my calcium tested and it was a little low, so now I'm taking some Vitamin D. I figured it would be a bit low because it was so hot and muggy this summer, I stayed in a LOT. Not once did I go to the beach or pool and I usually go often in the summer. It was just too muggy for me. Even the dogs didn't like it.

Next week I find out about my thyroid lab results and start the radiation. Radiation will be sixteen days, Monday through Friday - every day. Eeeek!! Talk about life's little interruptions!

It's also my oldest grandson's twentieth birthday, so I will look forward to that. There are always good things to see and I need to remember to look at the good things and stop sulking.

I need to remember to give my worries and cares over to the Lord and trust Him in everything that concerns me. Even if it's a CT scan. Keeping my focus and being thankful will keep me from fear and worry and darkness. I know God is right here with me through all of this and that He has gone before me, as well. I have peace about my thyroid, so I know that comes from Him. I need to trust Him, thank Him and rest in Him.

"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." 

Psalm 118:24

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 

1 Thessalonians 5:18

The Big News

So, I went for my yearly mammogram and it's a good thing I did. (If you haven't, go!) Usually, I get a phone call with a follow up letter that says everything is A-OK and they look forward to seeing me again next year.

But, this time was different. This time I got a phone call to come back in. They wanted a biopsy. They found a little something. I wasn't worried. They've found somethings before, but never a biopsy. So, okay, I'll play along.

The next phone call was asking me to come in and speak with the doctor. I knew, now, that it wasn't going to be good. The doctor let me know the results from the biopsy came back positive and blah, blah, blah - that's about all I heard for awhile. She left the room and I was sitting there with a Nurse Navigator (Kathy) and my husband. The Nurse Navigator began to explain everything to me and it was way over my head, but I listened. I really didn't want to be educated in this. Just get the thing out.

I love my Nurse Navigator. I think her role is so cool. She is assigned to me for anything I need, any questions I have to ask, any support. We hit it off and I look forward to working with her.

I looked over at my husband while she was talking. My main concern was what he was going through at the moment. He had lost his brother and his best friend to cancer within six months of each other a few years ago and I just wanted to hug him and tell him it would be okay. (I did later.) I didn't want him to go through this all over again. But, the look on his face told me that he was doing okay with the information we were being given. (Cancer doesn't affect just the patient. It affects everyone who knows the person that has it. I hate it!)

But, as my nurse kept talking, things started sounded positive and okay. I didn't feel dread or awful when I left the room. It was one of those things that smack you in the face on a beautiful and day and you think to yourself, "Okay, now what?" I knew God was with me. He had let me know that He is with me through all of this (and that is what I want to share on this blog) and that He has gone before me.

God had let me know that He was before me that day even before I left that room because it turns out that Nurse Navigator Kathy shares the same faith that I do and loves God just as much as I do. She's my sister in Christ and I truly believe that God went before me and had her assigned to me that day just to let me know He's got this.

At first, I didn't let this stuff get to me during the day, but at night when I laid down to sleep, my mind would start to race and my head kept hearing the words over and over "breast cancer, breast cancer". Based on 2 Corinthians 10:5, which says to take every captive thought to Christ, I decided this was not God's will for my mind to continue doing this and started to fight this thing as a spiritual battle, which I believe all disease is. The Bible says, "no weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall refute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD and their vindication from me, declares the LORD". (Isaiah 54:17 ESV)

That "weapon" is disease and I condemn it based on the words of Scripture, in the name of Jesus. His name has authority over ALL sickness and disease and He is bigger than any of that. Jehovah Rapha is the Lord who heals and is my Great Physician.

In reading my Bible, I looked up a lot of verses where Jesus went about healing people. Did you realize that every time He was healing people He healed ALL the people? He didn't turn anyone away. Even when He was tired, He would still take the time and effort to heal ALL the people. He doesn't want us sick. Our bodies are not our own and, as a Christian, we are housing the Holy Spirit. Light and dark don't exist together and my God has got this!

So, I'm okay with The Big News. I'm just going to have a little outpatient surgery and possibly some radiology. God has given me peace and assurance and I don't have to worry about my husband or any thing at all, but I know God has this! He had it two-thousand years ago at the cross when He died for my sin and disease. He healed EVERYTHING right then and there and that's why He said "It is finished". His work was done. He doesn't have to work on me
today, because He already did that for me years ago.

Romans 8:11 says, "If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you."  Wow! That is awesome! Doesn't that just give you chills all over? God is so good.

I just love this song. Click the link and listen to it. The words are powerful and so positive.

Thanks for reading my blog. Please leave your comments and questions, if you have any, and come back for more. Share with others, if you find any thing inspiring. I hope there is inspiration in these words.

And thanks to all my friends and family for all the wonderful support. I know you will all be there for me as I go on this adventure.