Learning To Be Still

I'm starting to slow down and get fatigued. The nurses say it's too soon, but the doctor seemed to think I knew what I was talking about.  

I went to my Body & Soul exercise class and that evening was so exhausted. The last time I felt that exhausted was when I gave birth to my first child almost forty years ago.!! LOL!! So, I decided to stop exercise classes until I can get back up on my feet again and just stick with small walks and little workouts on my Wii, where I do some balance and yoga stretches. I want to keep active. 

It seems I have heard God telling me a few times this past week, "Be still". So, while my body is slowing down it's activity, I am listening and learning and hearing things from God as He speaks to me. 

Last week I mentioned that I was going to be meeting with a Stephen's minister and I met mine on Tuesday. She is a beautiful spirited lady who prayed with me and listened to me as I poured my heart out to her regarding all the things that a little spot called cancer can change in your life. She is such a blessing to my life and I look forward to meeting with her again. She is a huge support. She helped me to realize that I need to slow down and just take care of myself and that it's okay not to keep up with what I have been doing before my surgery. 

Thursday was my Bible study, but I overslept and wasn't able to make it. I began to realize that my social life is taking a downward spiral. It can be a little lonely sometimes. 

We have people dropping off food from church three days a week, which is a huge help due to the fatigue. It is so nice to see a friendly face, even if it is for just a few moments.

So, I sit and be still and read my books and my Bible and I listen to God and I am learning even more of Who He is. God loves us and wants to have relationship with us and this is the perfect time for me to just sit and be with Him. And, it is then, that I realize that I am not alone. He has told me He is right there with me all along through this whole thing. So, I feel grateful for the opportunity to just be able to sit in my living room and have Him there to be with me, to comfort me, to show me His love. 

If I could see Him sitting over there in that chair, I wouldn't keep reading my books or watching my beloved old black and white movies. I'd be giving Him my undivided attention. And, so, that is what I am learning to do this week - to just visit with Him one on one day after day. It is a rare opportunity in our busy lives to have this time sort of time. I feel bad that I can't keep up with my housework and laundry and other things. But, then, I think here is this awesome opportunity I have just for right now and what a fool I would be to ignore it! 

So who IS God, really? The Bible tells us who He is and the Bible is God's letter to us, as well as our life's manual. The Bible talks about His character that He is just, loving, truthful and holy. The Bible says that God shows compassion, mercy and grace. It says that He judges sin, but that He also is willing to forgive our sins, if we ask Him to do so. 

The Bible talks about God's nature and says that He is One, is a Spirit, but exists as three Persons (God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit). The Bible also says He knows everything, exists everywhere and has all power and all authority in heaven and on earth. 

We can see His existence through His work because He created the earth and the sky and planets and stars. And He sustains it all. 

And He sent His Son, Jesus, to earth to die and rise on the third day for our sins so that we could have a relationship with Him.  He wants for all of us to be able to be still and listen to Him and spend time with Him because He loves us. That's all. He just wants to love us. 

So, just for a few moments right now sit and be still and listen for God and see what He might have to share with you. Is He telling you, like He did for me, that He is right there with you for whatever it is you are going through? He says so in the Bible, His letter to you. Have you read it? Have you read all the other things He wants to do for you? Take a few moments to read a little bit and find out.

If you want to know more about a relationship with God, contact me or go to Peace With God to find out more on the subject.  

Until next week....

Psalm 46:10

"Be still, and know that I am God. 

I will be exalted among the nations. 

I will be exalted in the earth!" 

An Overwhelming Week & Now, Thyroid Cancer!

This week has been very busy, as I started my radiation treatments, followed by my doctor's visit for the lab results on my thyroid, which shows I have an unusual type of thyroid cancer. Don't ask me what it is because the name is too long and I can't pronounce it. Dr. Times didn't want to discuss the thyroid condition with me just yet. We're going to wait until after the radiation treatments are over. But, I WILL have surgery and he doesn't know yet if he will have to remove the entire thyroid or just up to half of it.

If I have to have the whole thing removed, then I have to take thyroid hormones the rest of my life. I dread the thought of taking a pill for the rest of my days. How irritating. But, if he can leave up to half of it, then I won't have to do anything. So, I am praying that he doesn't have to take the whole thing. He also said there might be some hoarseness as a side effect since the thyroid is so close to the voice box. That, also, might be fun to live with. But, hey, it's still a voice. :-)

My week started out fun on Monday when I met a supportive group of ladies for lunch at Cracker Barrel. We always have such a good time together. I left with a nice flower arrangement and a loaf of pumpkin bread. Yummy!

Tuesday was my oldest grandson's twentieth birthday. We had celebrated on Sunday with a nice family dinner and a few gifts. Since he lives in the next town over, I didn't actually get to see him on his birthday, but he said he had a nice day. I can't believe I have a grandchild that old. I don't feel that old!

Also on Tuesday, I met with a mentor to help me with my mentoring. We sat and talked for about an hour at her house. I met her through a church ministry and we found out we live in the same neighborhood, just down the street from each other. She walked me home when we were finished with our visit. I look forward to meeting with her. We're going to be looking at a book called, Mentor: How Along-The-Way Discipleship Will Change Your Life by Chuck Lawless. It looks like it's going to be a good study.

Wednesday I went to see my radiologist, Dr. Chism, where they did a practice run on my treatment. There's a lot of accurate measuring that they need to do and it also helped me see what to expect when I go in for my treatments.

Thursday was my first of sixteen treatments and it was so stressful. It's really not so bad, but I guess it's just the not knowing and doing something for the first time. The techs are very friendly, supportive and helpful. They do everything they can to try to make me relax.

On Friday, for my second treatment, they let my husband come back there with me. Of course, he has to leave the room when they do when they start the machine, but it was comforting just to have someone I know back there with me. And they play music for me. So far I've chosen to listen to Andrea Bocelli and I might continue to chose him. By the time he sings less than two songs, my treatment is over. It's that quick. But, it takes them a few minutes to get me situated just right so that all the measurements add up to the computer and the machine. That takes longer than the treatment!

I had been told that the treatments would make me tired and by the second one, I felt the fatigue. A friend of mine from church brought dinner over to us on Friday and it was such a huge help with the stress and being so tired.

Today, Saturday, a friend of mine from my former MOPS (Mothers Of Preschoolers) group, along with my radiology techs, ran a 5K in the Beyond Boobs run. I wanted to get down there, but was too tired to make it. It was cold when they started running, but I'm sure they warmed up soon.

This week has been stressful and it is very hard not being near my family and especially my children. My husband goes with me to each appointment and helps around the house. And God has been so gracious to give me His assurance and let me know that I am covered by the many, many prayers that are being prayed on my behalf. He lets me know that He is right there with me and when I am in that radiation treatment room, I am not in there by myself. I am so glad I have chosen to have a relationship with God.

If you don't have a relationship with God, you are probably thinking I'm crazy or wondering how in the world can someone have a relationship with a Spirit. God created us in His image, so you have a relationship with Him just like you do any other friend you have. You talk with Him (prayer) and you listen to Him by reading the letter and life manual He left for us, the Bible. As you get to know Him better, you will learn how to hear Him.

Send me an email if you'd like to know more or go to Peace With God to learn more. God loves us all and just wants to be there for us in the good times and in the bad and He will. If you have Him in your life, you will have peace even in the hard times, just like I do. It makes getting through the hard times so much easier.

Therefore you are great, O Lord God. For there is none like you, and there is no God besides you, according to all that we have heard with our ears.

2 Samuel 7:22 ESV

I'ma I'ma Be Alright

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I've been having to fight a funky depression now and then the last couple of weeks, which tells me I'm not keeping my focus on the Lord, but rather my circumstances. It seems it starts whenever I've had doctor appointments. Next week I'll have doctor appointments every day except Monday and then on for the next three to four weeks, So, I need to snap out of. Well...today, I did.

The last couple of days I have focused my mind on God's good promises and it always, always does the trick for me. It gets me back to where I need to be. This morning I woke up in a great mood because I won't have to see a doctor for four days and that's four days of just plain old boring normal life. The sun was shining, which hasn't been doing much here lately, so that was a plus and we had a beautiful breeze coming in from Hurricane Matthew along with temperatures in the low seventies. So, who wants to be in a funk on a day like that?

I made a shopping list for things I needed at a few different stores and headed out with my list. Of course, shopping always puts a girl in a good mood. So, that was fun.

Looking back at my week, it started out gloomy, but very busy - too busy. But, as I look at my calendar now, it really was a good week. Monday I had my beloved Body & Soul exercise class, followed by Tuesday with the dreaded visit to the radiologist's office where I had to get a CT scan. I had never had one before and I was so nervous. Since this whole thing has started, I have had way too many new medical experiences and some of them have not been very nice. So, when anything new comes up, I get a little anxious. But, it was nothing but a piece of cake. It was quick and easy and I really need to stop being anxious because the worst is behind me. I know this in my head, but then there's this other part of my head that has it's doubts and causes me worry.

Tuesday night I went to church and connected with a mentor there. Our church matches women with other women for mentoring and I usually am a mentor, but this time I signed up to be mentored since I do so much mentoring. (Wow! I've overused the word "mentor"!) Anyway, it turns out that my mentor lives right here in my neighborhood, which is a plus for me because if I do get the side effect of fatigue from the radiation, she's like right down the street from me and meeting with her shouldn't be a problem. So, that meeting was fun because not only did I get to meet someone new, but dinner was involved. And our church dinners are prepared by a professional and his food is always divine.

Wednesday afternoon I ended up back at church to meet with a lady that will sign me up with a Stephen's Minister. If you're not familiar with this ministry, it is a group of lay people who have gone through extensive training for nine months who just listen confidentially. I was going to join a cancer support group, but then found out that the Stephen's Ministry has that one on one person for cancer support and I liked the one on one idea versus the whole group thing. Plus, we can meet when it is convenient instead of times already set up. That way, if I'm not feeling quite up to it, it can be re-arranged. So, I look forward to meeting with this lady, as well. It's a good program.

Thursday, it was back to the lab for a bone density scan. Again, something I have never had before. My oncologist wants a baseline because sometimes the radiation can cause bone issues. She had my calcium tested and it was a little low, so now I'm taking some Vitamin D. I figured it would be a bit low because it was so hot and muggy this summer, I stayed in a LOT. Not once did I go to the beach or pool and I usually go often in the summer. It was just too muggy for me. Even the dogs didn't like it.

Next week I find out about my thyroid lab results and start the radiation. Radiation will be sixteen days, Monday through Friday - every day. Eeeek!! Talk about life's little interruptions!

It's also my oldest grandson's twentieth birthday, so I will look forward to that. There are always good things to see and I need to remember to look at the good things and stop sulking.

I need to remember to give my worries and cares over to the Lord and trust Him in everything that concerns me. Even if it's a CT scan. Keeping my focus and being thankful will keep me from fear and worry and darkness. I know God is right here with me through all of this and that He has gone before me, as well. I have peace about my thyroid, so I know that comes from Him. I need to trust Him, thank Him and rest in Him.

"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." 

Psalm 118:24

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 

1 Thessalonians 5:18